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9 months preggo?

My husband comes home from work looking very pale and says, "guess what happened?" I really could not imagine what had him so rattled, I mean he works at a very busy level 1 trauma center in the city, there is not much he has not seen at least once. I must confess I was shocked by what was to follow.

A thirty six year old woman walks into the ER complaining of "belly" pain when hubby asked her if she was pregnant she said, "I don't know" He then asked when was your last menstrual cycle? Trying to be diplomatic knowing him. She said, "May 2008"

(Hmmm, do you think that could be a problem?)

Well, my husband did an exam and ultrasound and sure enough she was fully dilated, so much so that there was not any time to transfer her to a different hospital and there was not an ob-gyn in the state who would come into the hospital to deliver her baby, she was not there patient. With malpractice rates so high the liability is too much for them. All said and and done, with a great deal of sweating a healthy beautiful baby girl was born weighing 6lbs 4oz. to a mother who claims she did not know she was preggo and had no medical care during her whole pregnancy.

I don't understand how you can not know you are? What about morning sickness, being so tired the first three months, the baby kicking, the weight gain? Do you believe her? What are your thoughts?

On the road bathroom troubles

Why is it when I ask my daughter if she has to use the "potty or go to the bathroom" before we leave the house, or where ever we might be leaving she says no most of the time. Then within five to ten minutes of being in the car it starts, the whining. Which I recently read that children under the age of five do not even know they are whining, as parents we must point this out to them and be patient (this of course must have been written by someone who has children ALL over the age of five and has forgotten how horrible the whining can sound when you are closed in a car and there is no way to escape. )

Mix it with more whining ,"mommy I really have to go, I have to go to the bathroom now, mmmmmm oooooooo mmmmmm mmmmmm yyyyyy I have to ggggg oooooooooooooo. Well darling daughter of mine, do you think perhaps it would help if you stopped drinking your milk if you have to go so badly?

Now it is not like my daughter has not been potty trained for sometime already, plus I know when she is at school she holds it the whole time. So pray tell why is it without fail every time she tells me she has to use the potty when we are in the car we are NO where near home, or any place that I would consider suitable to stop for a bathroom break? Do I take a chance that she will make it or do I look for somewhere besides the trees?

To boot on our recent out and about bathroom stops she not only has to do number one but she is doing number two. I know who cares really right? Well let me tell you number two is a WHOLE big production. She takes off her skirt, or pants and undies included, tells mommy to either turn around or close my eyes, oops forgot to mention shoes come off first, and then finally she closes her eyes and one by one they start dropping except there is usually a minute to two in between. So all in all it can be ten minutes before we are done not including getting dressed again.

Another problem is, if someone else is waiting my daughter has no sense of time yet it doesn't matter to her, I on the other hand feel bad. What am I supposed to do, it really would not be right for me to tell her to hold them in until we get home and only make pee-pee now. She would be confused and I do not want her to need therapy later in life because I gave her bathroom issues or worse yet some type of dysfunction a fear of success because she now has fear and this fear escalated and then she became fearful of everything. See it could very easily be a whole snow ball effect. So being a good mother, or trying to be a good mother I am forced to face the "on the road" bathroom dilemma until further notice.

One Salt Water Tafy, Pizza, Molasses Pop and Pretzel later

We went down the shore this weekend and of course we had to take my daughter to the boardwalk. She adores the boardwalk; what child does not love it? Within a matter of three short blocks she manged to eat a soft pretzel, four licks of a lollipop, a piece of pizza, some of daddy's molasses pop, a salt water taffy, and then asked for ice cream with her face so covered with chocolate had anyone else seen her they'd have thought she hadn't bathed in days. Keep in mind, my daughter weighs about thirty five pounds at most, and she was about to go on the rides.

I must say I was thankful, very thankful she managed to keep it all down. Of course when we got back to the hotel she started jumping on the bed and for a half an hour did not stop. I was not thrilled to say the very least. Finally she passed out from the sugar rush and all of the excitement at nine thirty only to awaken chirpily this morning at seven A.M., ready to start all over again. I knew it was going to be a LONG day when I could not get her to go back to sleep...or even to lounge in bed.The "witching hour", usually a five or five-thirty occurence, would start earlier today...and last, therefore longer. So being the prepared, type A personality that I am, did I plan accordingly?

OF COURSE NOT!

MUST ADMIT, WE HAD A GREAT TIME! Daddy's "resting" and I've bathed daughter, she's brushed her teeth and in her nightgown...such a sweet time of day....I love the quiet, gentle, snuggling time with her, and know that all too soon this, too, will be of a bygone era. We'll read some of her favorite books, hug, and kiss. I, too, will be ready for "sweet dreams". Maybe I'll go to sleep tonight early and the "good fairy" will make a visit to our house overnight. Like the Shoemaker and the Elves...

I seriously need some solid adult time!!!!!!!

The Mommy of The Year Award goes to ................................ Me?

The Best Doc

Little Bits a.k.a my daughter has ear tubes. In 2006 at the recommendation of the best ENT from the number 0ne children's hospital in the country (CHOP also referred to as Children's Hospital of Philadelphia) she went in for the surgery. I must admit I was petrified. It is especially scary for a mother to watch her child being taken in for a surgery, any kind of surgery no matter how minimal it seems to others.

She was not having re-occurring ear infections (thankfully) but there was fluid in her ears, and at certain times it would effect her hearing. This was frustrating, probably more so for me than for my daughter. Of course I did hear horror stories about fluid in the ears not being treated properly so I rushed to call her pediatrician who then referred us to the ENT. Overall did the tubes help? I suppose so. Would I swear by this? No way! Would I do it again? Not so quickly.

Every year, about 500,000 children have ear tubes surgically implanted in their ear drum. The tubes reduce the number of ear infections kids get, as well as the pain that accompanies infections. In recent studies, it has been estimated that as many as one-third of kids who get ear tubes don't need them. Could this be the situation with Little Bits? Very probable. Her tubes are still in, and I have received several different opinions about what to do. One of the opinions is let the tubes fall out by themselves, and the other is if they are in her ears for over two and a half years take them out. So what should I do?

She is sensitive to sounds (some days much more so than others) which I found out later could be a result of the tubes. Last year she told me her ear hurts and when I asked " What does it feel like?" she answered, " It sounds like popcorn in my ears." Interpreted, this meant it is the sound of the popcorn popping when we make it in the microwave. Naturally I called the doctor's office and was informed that children with tubes sometimes describe hearing a popping sound. Hmmm, why was I not told of this before the tubes were placed? Why , why, why ?

The passageways inside children's ears aren't fully developed until about age 12. For some, that means air doesn't circulate properly, and fluid can build up behind the ear drum. If that fluid becomes infected, the ear drum gets inflamed and swells, which is why it's so painful.

In a recent study it stated that there's a group of kids who get ear tubes but don't need them. They don't have chronic, painful infections. Instead, they've been prescribed tubes because fluid frequently builds up in their ear drum, often after a cold. This fluid can muffle sound. In the past, doctors have worried that this temporary hearing loss might lead to speech and learning problems. But, in a recent study from the University of Pittsburgh, about 400 children were followed for 10 years. Researchers found that those who got ear tubes did NO better on speech and language tests than those who didn't get ear tubes. "I think we can be totally reassured now that those children are not going to have bad effects from having that degree of mild or moderate hearing loss."

A study looked at two groups of toddlers: those who got ear tubes after three months of fluid in their ears — the standard guideline — and those who waited up to nine months before tubes were inserted. The children were tested for speech, language, learning and behavior when they turned 3."The bottom line was there wasn't any difference in the developmental outcomes as best we could measure them at age 3," said Dr. Jack L. Paradise of Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh.

"If tubes were absolutely harmless and free, then I think you might say, 'Well, let's have the tubes to be sure,"' Paradise said. "But tubes themselves carry risk and, of course, there's cost involved. So it becomes a matter of ... which set of risks would you rather take? So again, I have to ask why was I, a concerned and educated mother, not informed of the "risk" or lack of documentation to support tubes helping with fluid by the best children's hospital in the country three years in a row? This surely does not make me feel very confident in the pediatric medical community.

I am going to hang my hat on this statement from the study, "at age 3 it's very difficult to test developmentally." I am hoping and praying her tubes fall out very soon (like today or tomorrow) so I will not have to make a decision about the doctor taking them out at the two and a half year mark, August 2009. Really, I don't know which doctor is right, or if either of them are right. Most likely in ten years from now there will be a new study out and a different opinion about when to take the tubes out...or even if to put them in. This is the worst part of motherhood, playing the role of a fortune teller, doctor, and mother. (And, yes, my husband is a medical professional who should have an important opinion of his own. He does: trust the "best" doc. Thanks, hon.)

Monday Morning

Great mommy moment

I had a great mommy moment tonight and I was very proud of myself, I must admit. Little Bits and I went to the market today, and of course she picked up the pink applesauce (I think it is called summer fresh). She insisted she would eat it. So once again I gave her the benefit of the doubt and put it in the cart.

Dinner time tonight I put the applesauce on the plate and what happens? She makes this grossed out yucky "you are not expecting me to eat this, really mom, are you?" face. I calmly said,"try it; you will like it" Slowly, and I mean this gives a new meaning to the word slow, I am used to her being stuck in "toddler time" but this was slow motion, she dipped her spoon in the applesauce and then to her mouth (I think by this time I had finished my whole dinner) and said, "don't like it" The three famous words I wish she would either a) outgrow asap b) forget that she knows or c) both a and b would work fine for me too.

Well here came my magical mommy moment: I said to little bits you are very lucky to have pink applesauce, I am going to tell you a secret, daddy can't have pink applesauce, your friends can't have pink applesauce, and gram can't have it either. You know why you are lucky to have it? Pink applesauce is only for very special princesses it is the favorite food of princess Belle, and you have to be very very special for Belle to share her pink applesauce with you. By this time I did not have to continue on with this elaborate story I had planned in my mind ever so quickly over dinner. She was putting her spoon back into the applesauce and trying it again (at much faster speed I might add) This reminded me motherhood is to be fun sometimes I get so caught up in making choices, watching what she eats, and everything else in between I lose sight of motherhood being fun.

1. When you're tired, hand your kids a brush, point to your head, and tell them to play beauty parlor. When you're really tired, pretend that you're Sleeping Beauty.
2. Take your mother to a spa. While you're both getting seaweed wraps, tell her all your favorite memories of growing up.
3. Take a bath with your infant. Make sure your husband is around for the handoff, so you can relax until the last minute. (Don't forget to smell your baby right afterward. Heaven!)
4. At the end of every summer, take a family photo for the holiday card (you'll be happy to have this accomplished once December comes). Every year, add a framed 11-by-14-inch print to your front hall. Your kids will be proud now and laugh later at the funny styles.
5. On St. Patrick's Day, dye the milk and eggs green and turn the furniture upside down so your home looks like total chaos. When your little ones wake up, tell them that the leprechauns came.
6. The next time you have to go to a boring kiddie activity, invite another mom-friend along. Hide wine in sippy cups for the two of you to nurse undercover.
7. Play Freaky Friday with your husband and switch roles for a day. Enjoy his renewed appreciation for his Super Mom wife.
8. . In the dead of winter, fix some snacks, get under warm quilts, and watch Happy Feet on DVD. Tell your kids you love them even more than the penguins love their chicks.
9. Go to the beach in the off-season. Throw rocks in the water and collect shells. Put them in a vase and use it as shelf decor in your living room.
10. Skip the Raffi and Barney. Turn your kids on to Bob Marley, They Might Be Giants, and Gwen Stefani.
11. Take your baby out to the movies at night. (Infants love the dark, and loud trailers make them snooze immediately.) Then you can sip your soda and munch your popcorn in peace.
12. Buy yourself that fancy watch, strand of pearls, or whatever piece of expensive jewelry you've been lusting after. Justify your purchase by rationalizing that you'll pass it down to your daughter (or son's wife) eventually.
13. Take your kids to live music performances from very early ages. Cheap ones outdoors are great to start with in case you need to make a hasty exit (like when a diaper explodes).
14. Use your kids as an excuse to do the things you want to do, like going to silly feel-good movies, eating mac and cheese for dinner, and jumping in the moonbounce. Use your kids as an excuse to get out of things you don't want to do, like going to a wedding or office party.
15. Every Mother's Day, have a picture taken with your kids. Keep the photos all together - along with special cards, ticket stubs, mementos, and anything else that makes you feel good about being a mom - in a shoe box. (Of course, you must get those new shoes you love in order to do this correctly.) Every year, look through your Goddess Mom box and see how much your kids have grown.
16. Give your kids quiet time every day. Let them learn to be by themselves with books, crayons, or blocks.
17. Let your whole family take a day off and hang out in pj's all day long.
18. Rent Sex and the City on DVD, and reminisce about the days when you were single and the biggest problem you had was whether the "He" of the moment was going to call. Let the romance of your youth seduce you. Then remember that, despite your freedom, all you really wanted was to fall in love and have beautiful babies.
19. Pitch a tent in the backyard. Use it as your outdoor reading room. Or when there's a full moon, plan a family campout with sleeping bags, a transistor radio, and s'mores, of course.
20. Invent a house fairy. Give her a name, and tell your kids that she is always watching them and counting up their good deeds.
21. Listen for the deep, happy sighs that come after your kids play or laugh really hard. Tuck them away in your heart.

Can I please punch the preschool director?

Posted by Melissa at 9:47 PM 7 comments    

I Got the Best Suprise

I woke up, well actually Little Bits woke me up this morning by touching my face and saying, "time to wake up, time to wake up" and then when I didn't jump right out of bed as lively as she always is in the morning, climbing into the bed she said, "Mommy, time to wake up". "OK" I mumbled with ghastly morning breath from being so stuffed up all night and not breathing well. Another perk of living in New Jersey that I adore: the pollen and whatever else makes it one of the top five worst states to live in for allergy sufferers. Wish this fact was discovered before I moved here, but of course it is Murphy's Law that it was not.

"Mommy! Morning time; wake up" Little Bits said, only this time her voice was getting more stern. Repeating this until it became so annoying that hearing a teacher scratch her overly exaggerated long fingernails on the chalkboard ten times in a row would have been more pleasurable. "I'm up', I said as I was starting to open my eyes and sit up, wishing I could have about another 12 hours of sleep. "What cha wanna do today, Mommy?" she elatedly asked. "Well, how about my morning hug first, then we can have breakfast and see" I managed to mumble, still dazed from my peaceful rest that was interrupted. At least waking up and seeing my daughter's joy for each new day makes the painful interruption tolerable and sometimes even worth it.

Into the bathroom I went to brush my teeth and wash my face and to take the morning pee-pee with hopes of collecting myself and turning on the mommy mode in a cinch. After I was done in the bathroom I now,too, was able to say with excitement "Time for breakfast!" mommy mode now on.

I walked into the kitchen, and there was the surprise of my life. I can only remember one other occassion feeling so much excitement, and that was when my daughter was born. Maybe on my wedding day as well.



A girl can dream.

What are these Mama?

Posted by Melissa at 4:46 PM 2 comments    

I Caught Tourettes

At 37 is it possible to just all of sudden get tourettes, because I have been having some very strange experiences. This has been leaving me to wonder what the shitten heck kind of dumb ass crappy smelly butt is going on here?


My mom is still here and I have come to a shitten pissy reality that she does not plan on leaving any shitten time soon. I am at my wits end but she is my mom; she is divorced, retired and now as she reminds me at least three shitten crappy times a day she is also a senior citizen. I just don't have the bitchy effe-you heart to say a damm stinkin word to her about leaving. Shit I really wish I was a cold hearted bitch who could just pretend not to give a pissin damm shit about anything.

The worst part is what my mom is teaching Abby. My daughter is now starting to sound like a stinkin old truck driver with that mouth of hers walking around saying the word "fart" all the time. Yea, right thanks mom; forgot to tell you thanks? I am really shitten sorry.

FART pronnucing it as clean and clear as Waterford crystal when it first arrives at the store sitting there all pretty for display.

When I tell her we don't say that in this family (trying of course to keep it in the postive - yes do think positive reinforcement is better than saying "don't do this" or negative and guess what? There is an expert or two who agree with me) she replies "grammy does" and then I tell her grammy was wrong made a mistake blah blah blah. The kicker: my mom gets upset with me. So not only do I have a daughter walking around saying this word every chance she can get, and of course the loudest when we are in public, (crowded stores are an added bonus for her) I need to hear crap from my mom?

What the shitty shit crappy ass shitty deal am I being dealt here?

What is my mom upset with me for? Really I have no shitten idea and it is making me Oh who the shitty pants poopie farts knows what it is making me anymore.

As all this smelly shit was not enough she additionally has confused the heck out of my darling daughter. So when "little bits" has to make a "tushie bubble" (as I call them, and taught her to call them before the fart friendly grammy came to town) she is not sure if it is a number 2 and vice versa. Yes, wonderful grammy that she is had to step in one day last week and tell her that in her own words "doo-do and farts alot of the time feel the same". She then continued to tell her that sometimes when she has to fart she thinks she is going to make a doo-do but really it was only a fart. Do you see where the confusion is coming in?

Again thanks mom, was this one of your lessons you taught in school because it has been very educational and productive of course. I don't know how I managed for so many months without your help.

Not to mention I was in the process of teaching my daughter about manners and really started to make some head way with getting her to understand that we do not need to announce to everyone "I just made a tushie bubble" and she was also starting to know before she was going to make one and would go into the bathroom. I thought this would be important I can not have my princess going around just dropping tushie bubbles where ever she may be unless of course it was urgently necessary. I did not want her to be picked on in school for making a smelly, they are cute to me but I am her mom.

We means I

So I am standing in the kitchen looking at all the dishes that need to be loaded into the dishwasher and just wishing there was a house cleaning fairy that would come over and poof! It would all be done. But since I am 37 and not 3 I know this will not happen in my lifetime, no matter how hard I wish, pray, beg, rant, rave or promise to be the best person I can be. It is really useless, and I must admit defeat and start cleaning again. After all, I had a nice 20 minute break from cleaning all-day-everyday. Why should I complain or wish?

I hear my husband's voice and this quickly snaps me back into reality. Oh crap. I wonder how long I have been standing here zoning out and ignoring him. Again I hear him say "hon, honey?"

me: "yes"

Dr. Daddy: "honey, honey!" (like he really could not hear me? I think he was too comfortable to move, so his plan was too keep calling me until I went to him... which is exactly what he did) After several more calls of "honey!" I went into the bedroom

me: "yes, yea?"

Dr. Daddy: "I think you need to make an appointment for Abby to get her eyes checked, I don't think she can see that well".

me: (totally puzzled because I spend enough time with her and always thought she was seeing really well, so of course being the neurotic mommy that I can be at times, I start to think shit! I overlooked something, her eye sight must not be good I have neglected my precious daughter, and, of course, let me not forget to mention that I felt guilty for every time I may have raised my voice, or denied her anything because now she was not seeing.... and this was all within 2 minutes) "ummm, okay, of course I will. I will call right now". (then I had a moment of sanity again) "Why are you saying this?"

Dr. Daddy: "I asked her what time it was, and the clock was not even 5 feet away, and she could not read it to me!"

me: "hon, she does not know how to tell time; she does not recognize all of her numbers yet"

Dr. Daddy: "Oh, I thought she could; she told me before when it was 8:00 and she counts"

me: "Honey, she always thinks it is 8:00, but, yes, you are right: 8 is a number she does recognize. She is only 3; do you remember?"

I guess they don't spend much time in medical school on early childhood development, I am certainly glad that there are residency programs, so at least pediatricians can learn about ages and stages, or maybe he was just very tired that day and did not pay enough attention.

And while we're on the subject, why do "we" need to make an appointment when that means "me". Do you have things that "we" need to do as well? "We" need to go to the market; "we" need to clean the house; "we" need to take the car for service; "we" need to call his parents; "we" need to..."we" need to..."we" need to....fascinating how wonderful our marriage must be...we are so close to being one that "we" feels just like "me"

Summer fun

Summer is coming. For most parents, that means that the kids will be out of school. As a mother I do not want my daughter to lose everything she learned (even if it was not calculus) or to be bored. During the end of the year conference her teacher stated "keep practicing cutting over the summer". Shaking my head and smiling politely, I agreed but thought what about the rest of the skills she has started to acquire? What about continuing to learn over the summer? There has to be more I can do. So I started to brainstorm ideas and discuss with my mother (at least the 'tired teacher is good for something beside driving me insane at any given moment)

So I have complied a list of ideas which I think will be stimulating for children over the summer, and I would welcome any suggestions or ideas that you have (I can add to the post and share with other readers)

My daughter started going to what they call a "library" in her school and has been excited about it, although I must say I don't think at age three she understands fully the difference between buying a book and borrowing. Borrowing to her is the same as buying, I think she is gaining more of an understanding slowly... so my first idea relates to the library


If you do not have a library card, go and get one. With a library card, your child has access to a nearly endless supply of books. Reading is one of the best things your child can do to keep their skills as well as improve their skills, especially comprehension and story telling. NOW here is the fun part of this idea: make a camp-out in your family or living room either with sleeping bags or a tent, and call it a "read in". Get snacks, bring a whole stack of books, and spend the afternoon or night reading. (smores, anyone?)

Remember it is always best to leave your child wanting more, so if you see her/him starting to lose interest or getting tired, end the read in while it's still on a positive note. This will make her/him hungry for more. I promise you this.

Start a neighborhood book club: Everyone reads the same book and then gets together to discuss the book and enjoy treats and fun This could be so much fun for children; they could make it an all girls club or all boys club, no mommies or whatever they pick. I will be writing a post later today on how to start a book club over the summer for kids.(note from grammie, 'tired teacher: selecting and planning something like this is usually a key component of a "gifted education" program...and one to which all children should be exposed. The skills developed are invaluable and the self-esteem it brings is a reward unto itself)

In the car my daughter is fascinated with signs now: she is always asking "what does that sign mean?" So we turned it into a game. You can play "I Spy" with letters or numbers from street and road signs everywhere, or I spy something that starts with the letter A (depending on age). If your child asks you what something is or means (which my daughter has become an expert at) and you don't know say "I don't know; we can look it up together". This strategy is called "modeling". Children learn what to do in different situations by watching adults. If an adult does not know something and does not try to find out, the child will do the same. However, if the adult tries to find out the answer, the child will soon figure out that they should do the same. (I love the thought of this!)
('tired teacher says "early research skills!")

Have your child help you make a list for the market. If you want him/her to practice writing have him/her write the list. If you want to practice number and letter recognition or reading at the market (or any other store) have him/her count the items in the cart. Make it a game: who can count the fastest? (of course it is always nice to let your child win, dr.daddy can be so competitive at times I had to remind him of this on several occasions). Let him/her look for a specific product that starts with the letter A, B, or whatever or give them a word such as "conditioner" and let him find it (if he is reading).

There is a great game to play called Number Challenge for school-age children and at the same time practice their addition, subtraction, multiplication and division facts. Begin by having each player write the numbers 1 - 18 on a piece of paper. Each player should also have 18 pennies. The first player rolls three dice. They must use any combination of addition, subtraction, multiplication or division to come up with one of the numbers on their paper. When they have performed the arithmetic for the group, they use one penny to cover the number that was the sum of their equation. The next player does the same thing and so on. The game is over when a player has covered all of their numbers.This can be simplified for younger children by using only two dice and fewer pennies. Then the processes of addition and subtraction can be practiced. ('tired teacher again!)

Kids can learn about money by having a lemonade stand in their neighborhood or budgeting for a day at the movies and conducting all the financial transactions at the theatre themselves.

Help the kids mix up a batch of homemade playdough or chocolate chip cookies. They will practice reading and measuring while making the dough and then can use the dough to make shapes, do size sorting, and make counters to aid in simple math problems.

Give your child 4x6 postcards if she/he is writing. Have her write to grandparents, aunts etc. If they are pre-writing, let them scribble, draw,or design. You can put it in an envelope and mail it with them. Take it to the post office; there is alot you can teach on that trip. If age appropriate you can talk about different occupations, how much stamps cost (math) and how the post office works delivering mail to all different states (geography, social studies.) You would be very suprised as I was. Over spring break we went to Virginia and my daughter now says "remember when we went to ginnya?" She has learned about the beach and New Hampshire. I think for age three that is pretty good,and honestly this was not due to me trying to teach her. It was accidental (incidental) learning.

My point is there are learning opportunities everywhere. We have to be aware and use them. Learning does not have to be in a classroom, and we can foster them at home over the summer without even stretching our mommy mush brain too much!

Go to the park, and get active! Have fun on the ride there. Ask your child to make up a story, or as my daughter so often says, "tell me a story mommy". Believe it or not, this is an essential skill for children of all ages for so many reasons. They can bring bikes, skates, and skateboards, play on the playground or just run around for fun. If they are learning to tell time, have them time five minutes at the park, or tell you when it is 12:30 or whatever time you would choose. Do it in simple fun ways and your children will thrive on learning and their thirst to learn will continue, if not increase ten fold, over the summer.

Most important of all you will have taught your child the most important lesson: LEARNING IS FUN!

Mommy needs a helper

Help Wanted

Co-parent needed for witching hour a.k.a. suicide hour (hubby will not be home for at least 4 more hours and children are bouncing off the walls, or worse yet they are whinny and cranky but it is too early to put them to sleep). Other tasks include, but are not limited to, butler, chef, laundress, and chauffeur. Skills needed: B.S bullshit master when asked questions for which you don't know answer, Ph.D. psychology, B.S. nursing and some nutritional experience would be desirable..

Must be calm, steady, have the ability to multi-task, excellent decision making skills, soothing manner, and efficient. Ideal candidate will also have high energy, be able to tolerate either Dora or The Backyardigans, and will not require peace and quiet until bedtime. Must be flexible with hours, excellent starting salary less than minimal wage on an annual basis. Pension plan maybe available depending on how successful children turn out. Inquire within.

Where oh where do you hide your underwear?

Posted by Melissa at 8:52 AM